The atmosphere grew extremely tense. Fiona, a divorcee, stared at the headline. She winced slightly. The negotiation between a neighbouring country had reached a deadlock. She heaved a loud sigh as she understood the impending danger of war. Before Fiona could retire to bed, a loud knocking sound prevailed over the background silence. It was followed by an air-raid siren. Her neighbour, Nick, a handsome middle aged scholar, wanted to reveal the bad news. He had discovered the latest decisions of the neighbouring country as he had connections with some high powered people there. Before he could even do so, the military planes flitted in, dropping a fusillade of bombs They were mounting an attack Nick rushed into Fionas house and they both hid in the basement. It was a big and dusty bomb shelter. When the barrage of bombs had abated, both friends emerged and attempted to glean from the Internet the latest news of the oncoming war. Fiona gasped in horror, as she realised the horrible truth. The city had been besieged Nicks heart was beating with trepidation. He had not stocked up on food supplies. Fiona assured him that there was more than enough for both countries. Fiona and Nick tossed and turned in bed all night. Their lives were in danger. Sleep eluded them. The relentless bombing drew them into a vortex of violence and fear. Nick wallowed in anxiety. His mind was buzzing with irate thoughts of the incompetent heads who had failed in their amicable agreement with the neighbouring country. At the break of dawn, Fiona gave Nick his ration of food. Nick was grateful although it was quite meagre in quantity. Both of them understood that their country had been encompassed by the enemy before for a long period of time so they had to take precautionary measures to safeguard the supply of food. The situation could be beset with many other problems. Gritting their teeth, they risked their lives to sow seeds in the garden grounds hoping that the plants could provide food as their supply would eventually run out in due time. Fionas eyes sprang open in complete and utter fear. Hearing the sound of heavy boots trudging towards the house, both Nick and Fiona dashed to seek refuge immediately. Lifting the ceiling panel, both of them clambered up to rest on the thick beam of the false ceiling. The door came crashing down. The soldiers went in search of the residents, but Fiona and Nick could not be found anywhere. Soon, the sound of boots slowly faded into the distance. Fiona whispered a silent prayer in thanks. At the same time, Nick heaved a soft sigh of relief, contemplating their next move. After weeks of hoping against hope that the siege would end, the supply of food ran out. Thankfully, the plants they had sown months ago had bore fruit as the season arrived. Both Nick and Fiona crept out to pluck their fruits of labour. Apart from quenching their thirst, the fruit satisfied their desperate hunger pangs. When the fruits were gone, the two friends went in search of rats but their futile search was in vain, which later turned out to be a blessing in disguise. News of an entire family having perished after consuming the repulsive rats reached their ears. Nick and Fiona refrained from eating the dreadful rats to avoid meeting their untimely demise. Due to the lack of food, Nick and Fiona were reduced to a bag of bones. Their voices were hoarse. At the break of dawn, Fiona lay motionless. Her lips were ashened and her pretty face was pale. Nick attempted to revive her. He massaged her temples. But it was a forlorn attempt. Fiona was dead. When he was almost unable to take the dreaded feeling of hunger, he squared his shoulders. Wistfully, he raised his chopper and reduced Fiona into bite-size pieces.
Answer: Although it was very well written,reading it made me throw up,literally. Its just way to graphic and gross for my taste.
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-08-03
Supporters we will refuse to eat until dream act free college is passed how long will they last week at best?
A Fontana woman joined a hunger strike outside Sen. Dianne Feinsteins offices in Los Angeles Monday, in hope of calling attention to the need for federal legislation that would pave the way for illegal immigrant students to become citizens. Andrea Ortega, who was born in the U.S. and graduated from UCLA in June with a degree in Chicana/Chicano studies, said Monday the Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act, also known as the Dream Act, makes sense because those who stand to benefit from it have worked hard and want to contribute to the country. "I support it because I have a lot of friends who are undocumented," said Ortega, who was among a group of activists taking part in the hunger strike. "Ive gone to school with them. Theyre so amazing. They sometimes work two or three jobs to pay for their education. They are inspirational in every way, because they have so many obstacles and they continue to overcome them. "The bill would allow illegal immigrants under the age of 35 who came to the U.S. when they were 16 or younger to apply for conditional legal status if they have lived here more than five years, graduated from high school and can demonstrate good moral character. They would be allowed to stay in the country for six years under that status, which could then be converted to permanent residency if they graduate from a two-year college, study at least two years toward a bachelors degree or serve in the military at least two years. Students receive green cards and could apply for citizenship, if the conditions of the probationary period are met. More than 2.1 million illegal immigrant young people, including more than 550,000 in California, could benefit from the legislation, according to the Washington, D.C.-based Migration Policy Institute. Opponents of the bill have said it unfairly rewards the behavior of those who cross illegally into the country, while taking away spots on campus from American students and burdening U.S. taxpayers. Ortega and others recently returned from a trip to Washington, D.C. as part of the DREAM Freedom Ride, where some were arrested during sit-in protests in the offices of a handful of senators including Feinstein, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and John McCain. Feinsteins spokesman said the protests outside the senators offices are counterproductive and misguided because she has worked from the beginning to push the bill forward. "So, it is unclear why they are targeting our offices, because they know she is supportive of the bill," said Gil Duran, communications director for Feinstein. "These protesters need to think of the bigger picture and target their energy more productively, perhaps by focusing on leaders who oppose immigration reform." http://www.contracostatimes.com/california/ci_15608067?nclick_check1
Answer: Sorry - illegal is illegal - If they are here on a Student Visa - they need to get their education - Go home and try to make something of their own country -- if not - then get in line to come back here legally -- California is bankrupt - Dont you think having to take care of 550,00 illegals education has something to do with that? dont you think 2.1 million "young people" and their families are a drain on the US economy? Are these students education being paid for by their parents? Because my kids had to have student loans -- and still can not find a decent job -- Sorry - do it right
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-26
Contructive Criticism Please?
Daddy came home drunk again. I was woken when he crashed into the house, yelling about how everybody was better off than him. Id learned from a young age to stay away from daddy when he was like this. The bruises still hadnt faded from the last time hed come home drunk. I lay curled up in my dresser. I had a special hiding place that nobody else knew about, and when daddy came home like today. I would curl my self up in here so he couldnt find me. I waited for what seemed like hours as crashes and shouts from downstairs made it impossible to sleep. I laid my cheek against the cool rough wood of the dresser, my fingers tracing patterns on the wood. I wondered when daddy would fall asleep. My tummy was rumbling and I needed to go pee. I forced my legs tighter together, trying to hold in the pee as i laid my hand over my stomach. I was scared the loud rumbling would let daddy know where I was. As the minutes ticked by I became more and more desperate. I really needed to pee. My stomach felt like it was going to burst. Pushing the false door of the bottom of the dresser, I silently crawled out and pushed open the doors, hurriedly running to the chamberpot on the other side of the room. Squatting down I felt relief in my tummy as I went pee. The bursting feeling went away, but the knawing of hunger was still there. As I finished I stood up and went to the small thin door of my room. The walls were very thin and sometimes I heard strange noises at night from the whorehouse next to us where mommy worked. Mommy wasnt a whore herself, but she was paid to clean the rooms and cook food for the men. Listening closely I held my breath, trying to hear the subtle snore that daddy always made whenever he fell asleep after drinking
Answer: Ive got nothing to critique, which is extremely rare for me FANTASTIC job, I would really enjoy hearing the rest of your story
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-17
Can you please look at this for me Need good constructive criticism?
So now that Ive had people guess what age my MC is, BTW 5-6 was the correct answer, so congrats to those of you who guessed right. The time frame most people guessed was off so Im hoping that this next paragraph will make it clearer as to what time frame it is. Daddy came home drunk again. I was woken when he crashed into the house, yelling about how everybody was better off than him. Id learned from a young age to stay away from daddy when he was like this. The bruises still hadnt faded from the last time hed come home drunk. I lay curled up in my dresser. I had a special hiding place that nobody else knew about, and when daddy came home like today. I would curl my self up in here so he couldnt find me. I waited for what seemed like hours as crashes and shouts from downstairs made it impossible to sleep. I laid my cheek against the cool rough wood of the dresser, my fingers tracing patterns on the wood. I wondered when daddy would fall asleep. My tummy was rumbling and I needed to go pee. I forced my legs tighter together, trying to hold in the pee as i laid my hand over my stomach. I was scared the loud rumbling would let daddy know where I was. As the minutes ticked by I became more and more desperate. I really needed to pee. My stomach felt like it was going to burst. Pushing the false door of the bottom of the dresser, I silently crawled out and pushed open the doors, hurriedly running to the chamberpot on the other side of the room. Squatting down I felt relief in my tummy as I went pee. The bursting feeling went away, but the knawing of hunger was still there. As I finished I stood up and went to the small thin door of my room. The walls were very thin and sometimes I heard strange noises at night from the whorehouse nest to us where mommy worked. Mommy wasnt a whore herself, but she was paid to clean the rooms and cook food for the men. Listening closely I held my breath, trying to hear the subtle snore that daddy always made whenever he fell asleep after drinking
Answer: Its a great story I would love to read but i feel like "The walls were very thin and sometimes I heard strange noises at night from the whorehouse nest to us where mommy worked. Mommy wasnt a whore herself, but she was paid to clean the rooms and cook food for the men." doesnt fit in with the rest of the paragraph. Unless you wanted to write about the mom.
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-17
fundraising... i need ideas and help from you. please read and answer?
okay so im 15 years old and iv thought just recently about some things. im an upcoming sophmore and also im a type 1 diabetic. iv thought about doing some fundraising in things such as Susan G Komen, JDRF, and Atlantas feed the hunger group. for the next few years i plan do devote that year to One organization. for example... Sophmore year i work for breast cancer, junior year i work for Hunger relief, and senior year i could work for diabetes.i need help though. what types of fundraisers should i do besides putting a donation box in my school, car washes, and sitting outside of walmart for donations? i need your help. keep in mind, ur ideas could raise hundreds of dollars for a great cause. thank you :
Answer: Help others with their home work. Put on a play at the old folks home. Go to the store for the home-bound etc
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-08
Be it for the pleasure of knowledge?
Mention some verses from the Noble Quran in which a virtue or more is addressed. Mine is Patience- 1. " Nay, seek Allahs help with patient perseverance and prayer: It is indeed hard, except to those who bring a lowly spirit," {2:45}. 2. " So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief" {94:5-6} 3. "O ye who believe seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere." {2:153} 4. "Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits of your toil, but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return" {2:155-156} -------------- Share any virtue and the verses which address that virtue. ------------------------ Mention a virtue and a verse about it :
Answer: Humility: Call on your Lord with humility and in private, for Allah loves not those who transgress beyond bounds. Do not mischief on the earth, after it has been set in order, but call on Him with fear and longing in your hearts, for the Mercy of Allah is always near to those who do good. Al-Araf 7:55-56 “And the slaves of God are those who walk on the earth in humility and calmness, and when the foolish address them with bad words they reply back with mild words of gentleness.” Al-Furqan 25:63 Successful indeed are the believers, those who humble themselves in their prayers... Al-Muminoon 23:1-2 Has not the time arrived for the believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed to them... Al-Hadid 57:16 “And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, God likes not each arrogant boaster.” Luqman 31:18 Salaam
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-08
why is my stomach hurting?
my stomach has been hurting for 3 days and i cant tell why. i have been eating normally just a bit less. but still to the point of getting full, so its not hunger pangs.I havent nearly went number 2 as much as I should be But, I also took 3 Vegetables Laxatives and Also 2 Colon Reliefs Pills today. Im 6ft tall and I weigh 158. pain right below my rib cage
Answer: All i can say is your constipated despite laxatives. Its a a serious matter and you should talk to a doctor
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-06
wonderful B&A people: I need opinions on the first few paragraphs of my first chapter. mind taking a look?
Okay, so It is fairly fresh and for WEEKS I have gotten nowhere with the start of my novel... What do you think? Would you keep reading? Rate out of ten? Did the last part seem to quick? Its a fantasy... but obviously there are no signs of that just yet : P.S - the name of the school is blocked out as it is original. The suitcase hit the gravelled ground with a dull thud, followed by the sharp snap of a slamming door. Hilary Finch rolled her eyes as the silver Mercedes rumbled almost soundlessly into life. The car park was close to being empty in the morning hours and only a few families gathered, murmuring last minute exchanges of goodbyes. Hilary didnt need to turn to know that the manicured hand of her mother was waving from the open driver seat window. As the car rolled out of the drive slowly, the plum-mouthed screeches of her mother echoed in Hilarys ears. “Remember to call me, darling. I didnt hear a peep from you all last term” Hilary raised her hand in acknowledgement, her back still facing the car. Finally she let out a heavy sigh of relief as the holidays were left in the past, turning the corner with her mothers Mercedes. The compelling white iron gates began to open automatically then, revealing the white gravelled path leading to the entrance of ________________. Perfectly trimmed green grass sprawled out in front of the historic building and Hilarys heart picked up pace as she stepped quickly into the grounds. The gravel crunched underfoot and the wheels of the suitcase rolled gradually along as Hilary pulled it. ________________ stood four stories high, each story full of white-framed arched windows. The red-brick manor was almost entirely covered in wisteria and the greying roof topped with dried moss. Hilary glanced over the main building to the back where two even taller terraces stood. The right terrace was her own common and her dormitory window was just visible over the roof. Hilary hurried up the flat path towards the glass, arched entrance door sitting above marbled steps. A feeling was forming in her stomach. She had felt the feeling often and recently. In the car she had diagnosed it as only hunger pains. But it was growing uncomfortably... The churning sensation in her stomach did not ease as she climbed the marble steps. A few girls were gathered there, suitcases still in hand and talking excitedly. Hilary stopped. It felt as if pins were puncturing her insides, causing a wave of sick to rush over her. One of the girls looked over their shoulders as Hilary let a small whimper escape from her mouth. Then the girls face blurred then and the nauseating feelings crept up Hilarys body. She staggered, dropping her suitcase which hit the top step and tumbled down. She grabbed at her side with one hand and bought a palm to her sweaty head with the other. Her long legs tangled as she tried to up-right herself but then she fell with a sickening thump. thanks in advance, unless you give me terrible critisim. joke joyce. P.S I like harsh comments, strangely. oh dear. im 16 :S ha-ha
Answer: Hint her symptoms early on, because it just comes out of nowhere. Have whatever it is, progress throughout these paragraphs instead of just launching it all on us at the very last second. If the feeling takes over rather quickly, then you could have her worry about it coming on, something that will set it up. This might make it seem less rapid at the end. Basically all that happens here is: Her mom drives away, she walks up the steps, feels sick and faints. I think you need to add something else before the whole sickness takes over thing. It seems like theres not enough going on. We just met this character and shes just falling over everywhere. Maybe give us a little glimpse at who she is. Maybe the girls are nasty to her before she topples over. Or she has a run-in with another character. Or she slays a dragon. Idk, just something. ___ Too wordy. Dull thud, sharp snap, graveled ground. This works fine: "The suitcase hit the pavement with a loud thud, followed by a car door being slammed shut." --We all know the sound, and minor details that will only complicate a simple fact should be taken out. I also dont think dull is the right word for a thud. -- lol, "a thud" Hilary Finch rolled her eyes as the silver Mercedes rumbled almost soundlessly to life. The car park was quiet in the early hours of the day; only a few families gathered, murmuring last minute goodbyes. Hilary didnt need to turn. She knew that the manicured hand of her mother was waving from the driver seat window. Next came the plum-mouthed screech of her mothers farewell. “Remember to call me, darling. I didnt hear a peep from you all last term” Hilary raised her hand in acknowledgment, her back to the car. -turning the corner with her mothers Mercedes.- - This confused me. I was like, oh, shes turning the corner with her mothers car? Huh? Try something like, "She let out a heavy sigh of relief as the Mercedes turned the corner, leaving the holiday behind them." Missing a comma but it could be separate. Plus, too many adjectives for grass. Perfectly trimmed grass sprawled out in front of the historic building. Hilarys heart picked up pace as she stepped onto the grounds. This is awkwardly described. Hilary glanced over at the main building to the back where two even taller terraces stood. -- I cant picture what youre trying to say. Maybe, " Hilary glanced at the even taller terraces that stood in the back. The right terrace was her common; her dormitory window was just visible over the roof." What about the left terrace? She had felt the feeling often and recently. -- Hmm, no. If the feeling just started in the car, then its not something that she feels often. That implies that the feeling comes and goes all the time. If this is just the second time, its not often, but it is recent. Maybe, "The feeling began in the car, but she had figured it was hunger pains. Now it was growing into something else, something much more uncomfortable. A few girls were gathered there, talking excitedly, suitcases still in hand. One of them looked over their shoulder at Hilary, as a small whimper escaped her mouth. Then, then? The girls face blurred while a nauseating feeling crept up Hilarys body. She grabbed at her side with one hand and bought the other palm to her sweaty head. Her long legs tangled as she tried to up-right herself, but it was too late. She fell with a sickening thump. ______ Overall, it was okay... with the exception of grammar errors and other confusions. Id keep reading if you made more happen before the fall. Build up to it I suggest bringing a little fantasy into the beginning. I mean, you dont have to, but people read fantasy, well, for the fantasy. You could at least hint some
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-07-03
Activists vow not to eat until immigration reform is passed will they make it ?
As of Saturday, June 19, three women are on their fifth day of a hunger strike in downtown Raleigh. They want to pressure Senator Kay Hagan to co-sponsor an immigration reform bill currently up for debate in Washington D.C. Viridiana Martinez, 23, Rosario Lopez, 25, and Loida Silva, 22, all live in central North Carolina. They are all undocumented immigrants who came as children to the United States with their parents during the 1990s. The trio want Hagan to sign onto the DREAM Act, also know as the Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act, which creates a 6-year path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants under 35 as long as they go to college or the military, get good grades and stay out of trouble. In a written statement, Hagan said the DREAM Act “should be considered in the context of comprehensive immigration reform,” but did not say directly whether or not she supports the legislation. The three young women have a small encampment at the corner of Wilmington and Lane streets, and have a permit to stay there until July 1. But they say the hunger strike is “indefinite.” In the mean time, theyre surviving by drinking Gatorade, Pedialite and water. They have three tents, a canopy, a portable toilet and signs in a small park on the intersection in the midst of state government office buildings and across the street from the state legislature. Volunteers and supporters take turns spending time at the site and greeting passers-by 24 hours a day. http://www.raleighpublicrecord.org/featured/2010/06/19/hunger-strike1/
Answer: Personally,I dont care. If they are stupid enough not to eat,they deserve whatever problems they get. In a true hunger strike,you dont drink gatorade and pedialyte. So,they really arent as dedicated as they want you to believe. Reminds me of a toddler who holds his breath until he gets what he wants. No one pays attention to them either.
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-06-19
Need your opinion on a poem please? Or a Title?
At midnight your spite weeps Into only your unique hell, Relish tranquil thoughts, so cheap The venom intense evoking to quell. The hunger cruel, nourishing barbarism Manifested, he calculates his victim, The flesh and blood saccharin To vicious jaws, reaper of the grim- Free fall the waters edge of grief The dirty sand ledge, where the rested head of treasure Yet malicious, wild, careless relief Awaits the ghosts and angels character What is the poison of annihilation? Whats going to paralyze your own creation?
Answer: Its intense in that it remains so unresolved. Phrasing is sweeping and grand, though just a wee confusin in a coupla spots e.g., evoking to quell, but that notwithstanding, quite a worthy write that should be named "ANGUISHED"
Category: Hunger Relief; Date: 2010-06-16
